It has been three years since I wrote my first line of code and it has been a long ride. The coding stuff began rough for me since I was never the most intelligent person myself; I needed much more time than my fellow students to understand a concept, for example, I could remember I almost cried after I understood how quicksort works, which is particularly not the hardest algorithm out there but neither an easy one. I failed my first discrete mathematics exam, which is a very important course that builds the basis for cryptography and coding theory and to be honest, I don’t think I will understand what a Galois Field any soon except a wonder happens while I sleep.
It took me almost four semesters to truly understand why I need Fourier transformation, but I will still wait for the day my coding skill is good enough for me to apply the algorithm. If you have ever read any definition about how a good programmer should look, you can tell that I don’t have any trait that makes me stand out of a crown full of hackers and nerds. My C skill is barely enough to write a console program and I am sure that the program would be full of segmentation faults, and C++ is my personal discomfort zone, I just don’t like the language that much and won’t get the hype, either. The knowledge of me in Java will maybe never enough to join a team that builds a true masterpiece like IntelliJ, I may know one or two things about the JVM, but to call myself a Java programmer would be an overstatement. My knowledge of parallel programming on GPU brings me only shame, Numpy and a little bit of TensorFlow help me getting from A to B without knowing too much what is going on behind the curtain, but further than that will only make me scared. I am just another computer science student, nothing about me is special, but that is okay.
Because I still have my youth, my brain may not have the biggest capacity, but it still has time to grow and learn.
Because I still have my passion, the same passion that wakes me up every day telling me I have another 16 hours to learn more from smarter people.
Because I am thankful to get a chance to make something out of my life. Gratitude is important, especially for someone who already works in a very privileged environment like software development. I mean you only need to follow online tutorials until you can scrape together a todo application, call it yours to get yourself a job.
And the most important point, if you know you are not too bright and you are not ashamed to show it off to the world, you are not bounded by your own ego. If I don’t understand something, I just go for it and ask the question, no matter how stupid the question may sound.
Point is, if you are reading my blog, you may not be the smartest person out there, eighter (Smart people are probably working in CERN or another research institute for a heal of cancer). But if you take a deep look into yourself and find out what really matters to you, you only have to follow it and make something out of your life.